Dear online friends,

Charles R. Swindoll said : “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” 

          You must wander who is Charles R. Swindoll and why I’m talking about an evangelical Christian pastor, educator, writer and radio preacher born in Texas in 1934 while I’m a French au pair expatriated in the United States, born in 1997 in a small town in South of France. 

Yes Charles and I have nothing in common except this quote who spoke to me when I googled “quotes about life” and that I was looking for a quote who will speak to me so I can explain you what happened in my life the past year and why I started to shut myself to the world and why I shut the doors to your nose guys. The answer is that I ended up living in unhappy home. When I decided to be an au pair I had all those dreams in my head, I was a fearless, strong-will 19 years old woman ready to explore the world and I met this family who seemed to be the best match for me, so March 2017 I left behind me, the comfort of my sweet and sunny South of France, my dear best friends but especially my caring and loving mom, my hilarious dad and my forever life partner, my big sister for the scariest but also the most exciting adventure of my life. 

I was ready to conquer the world, ready to find a loving and caring couple in Connecticut but little do I know that the couple who will be my new parents forgot how to love each others and became good at hiding their feelings to the world. So I started to hide mine to the world as well, showing just the best to you guys and hiding the bad sides and I still think it was the best move because I want just to spread happiness not sadness, I always wanted my blog and my social medias to be positive and where you guys could find happiness if you needed to. And I didn’t want to share my sadness and negativity because my blog and social medias have always been my happy places and I didn’t want what happened at home be the same on my socials. 

          But I recently moved to a new home, a fresh start, a new family and a happy environment. And when I told my story here, I figured that showing your feelings isn’t a weakness but a strength. So when I figured that if I wanted to come back I wanted to share the good and the bad because that’s what life is right ? Not everything is black or white, happy or sad, life is a blend of sappy and downs with happy and joyful moments that erase all the bads at the end of the day. That’s how I try to look at my last year, despite the downs I’m grateful for the friends I’ve met, the relationships I created with some amazing and so inspiring people who are totally different than me. And I learned about myself, I learned how to be stronger, how to be more patient with others and to give second chances.

          So guys, you must wonder what’s gonna happen next. Well, I don’t even know myself but I want to get back to what I like. Sharing my love of books with a community of book lovers as crazy as me.
We cannot reinvent ourselves but if we can improve ourselves and make a step forward, be proud of ourselves at the end of the day that’s what I try to do. It’s not easy but surrounded by the good people with positive vibes, you can do it. Also, take time for yourself, I figured it can be suffocating to just give and please without waiting anything in return but not letting other people take care of you or not giving enough space to yourself, you will end up just tired and it’s fine but I want you to be proud of the reason why you’re tired.

          I know it can be easy to get caught into the sadness and feel frustrated because you think you won’t reach your goals, won’t make it to the finals or won’t finish this big long essay you had to due or even re-read this article you’ve been working on for weeks and put on the side by fear you don’t have the right words to explain what you feel (hey yes that’s me). That’s my fear, I have the feeling I’ll never finish something that I started and I fear to disappoint myself and others. I think it’s human, tell me it is right ?

Tell me what’s you biggest fear about the future ? 

For me it will be to end up unhappy.

So I also ask you and myself, what makes you happy ? 

And what makes me smile right now is that I can say that I have a long list of things that makes me happy and that’s what matter the most. One of those little happiness is reading. I got back to reading as a regular rhythm and read what I like and YA will always be my safe Heaven to be honest. I feel safe and at home when I open a good YA book.

          To finish I want to get back to this quote, life is indeed a lot how you react to what happen to you daily. You make the choice. I don’t try to put pressure here, don’t worry and if you think you made a mistake. Mistakes build you, they are lessons and that’s also something that I’m working on every day. Never forget that nobody’s perfect okay ? Life would be boring if we were perfect no ?

          So relax and get out and have fun, do what makes you happy and celebrate even little victories every day. I celebrate my victory today and my victory is that I finished this article today that I’m going to post it on my blog and I’m not going to change a thing. That’s me and all my feelings, all me you like it or not. We cannot change, we can just improve.

Take good care of you people,

Andréa. (YES I’M BACK)